We get on a plane to Chiang Mai Thailand in less than 3 weeks. We are so excited to see what God has in store for us. Even though there are still big balls up in the air the sense of peace for this move grows with each new morning. Yet there is still one place in my heart that doesn’t want to move…this is the part reserved for my son. Zach is 18 and graduating high school the day before we leave. He starts college this Fall and is staying in the states. I have had time this past year to slowly come to terms with the fact that I will have to say goodbye to being in the same country as Zach, but with each new morning the grief grows.
Just in the past couple of months I have witnessed Zach becoming a man of great honor and potential. I am so taken by his wisdom and regard for things that matter. I am just so proud of him. He has always been such a sweet boy, and now he is becoming a sweet and powerful man.
It is killing me to leave him. to miss out on witnessing his growth face to face. I was there when the seeds in him were planted and just can’t stand the thought sometimes of not being there to see the buds and sprouts take form…yet…
me & my baby
I know in my heart that Zach is in my Fathers hands. He is growing right before His eyes and I know deep down the man Zach will become because I have seen his potential in my heart his whole life. I might not be there everyday with Zach, but I know that because I am not my prayers and reliance on God to raise him will be stronger. I also know deep down that our move to Southeast Asia will serve as fresh soil for Zach to plant his own seeds of faith for living in Japan one day.
God, I need you to nurture my grieving heart. Please take care of my sweet, sweet baby boy and keep his heart (and hers) in Your Hands.
It is so hard for me to wait in the middle. I know God is working on our behalf but I get nervous that He will realize I am not really ready and make the wait longer. What if He brought us all this way just to see if we would follow. What if? This is so difficult but I let go of this dream and simply wait to find out what God has for us. He knows what is best and I want nothing unless it is from Him. I am free!
I heard someone say once that we are educated way beyond our obedience. Isn’t that so true? I mean I love to read. I love to get up in the morning, drink a smooth cup of coffee and just fill myself with all the truths about how I should live and the joy to come from this kind of life. Then people start waking up, or I run into someone who “offended me”, or I am tired and just feel like I have the right to have an attitude until I get a better night of sleep. Geesh, it sounds even worse when I write it, but it is true (at least for me).
What if we didn’t read another book, or watch another service, hear another podcast, or even read another verse? What if we spent the rest of our lives simply applying the truth we have already gained? It sounds simple but just think about it…What if you spent one whole day simply being nice in every single encounter with every single person. Now don’t go getting confident (I’m talking to myself of course), because it is easy to be kind when you just woke up after sleeping great and your coffee is still making beautiful waves in your system. But what about when your tired, and heavy, and have a million things to do and then have to wait in line for someone who is a little smelly and who can’t find the money in their pocket because they have clearly been drinking? Would you be tempted to judge? I hate admitting this, but I would be tempted to judge, and based on the day and the hour of the day, it would be hard for me to fight past that feeling in order to pull up the truth of loving your neighbor as your self. Who isn’t dirty, smelly, and making bad decisions? In my worst hour, do I want someone who “has it all together” standing behind me looking down on me? How changed would I be if when I was at my worst someone seen the good in me? I’m not even saying you have to give them the quarter they are looking for, (let’s face it, that’s kind of easy and makes you feel good about yourself), but what if we would truly look into that persons eyes, seek, and see something amazing. There are a thousand things that happen in a day to distract us from what we have learned and make it hard to apply, but isn’t that what it is all about? I’m sorry if this is harsh but our brains will die one day. The only thing that will last in the world is our motions.
keep it simple
Sometimes I set things in motion that really suck because of my bad attitude or nasty ego. But when we remember to act out the things we already know in our hearts (especially when it is hard) something beautiful happens…
I felt such love on Saturday! Thank each woman who came to seek something beautiful with me. I am excited to see what God does with the seed of your time and the heart you shared. My hope is that we will meet and grow each year, and that living rooms around the world will be filled with something beautiful to the point of a global explosion! Sorry it if it sounds cheesy…being weird rocks!
I always heard of spiritual warfare but never really believed how real it could be. We are learning that it is real but that our Father has our back. We want to share a clip that says it best… it is only relevant till His Father saves him, after that it is just a Lion King movie
“After these things the word of the Lord came to Abram in a vision, saying, ‘Do not be afraid, Abram. I am your shield, your exceedingly great reward’.” Genesis 15:1 (thanks Stacey!)
At the end of last year we moved to NE to stay with Kyle’s parents while we prepare for our transition abroad. During this waiting season we have visited a few churches, found one we hope to call home when we are in NE (Life Gate), and of course are missing our home church, Second Place in Monee IL. Anyway, the Sunday after Kyle I and knew that Thailand was where God was calling us we visited a church that spent their service talking about the most unreached parts of the world which included Thailand. This was very affirming to us and we felt like God led us to this service as gift from him to assure us we had heard Him correctly (such a great gift). This church also led us to a book they were reading called the Live-Dead Journal www.Live-Dead.org . This book is an extension of the Joshua Project, which is “a research initiative seeking to highlight the ethnic people groups with the least followers of Jesus Christ” www.joshuaproject.net . We did the 30 day devotional and completed the book. It wasn’t until recently that we realized that the unreached people group in Thailand that the Joshua Project identified was the Shan population. If you didn’t read the last post, God has slowly been leading us to a focus on this Shan population. So when we figured out that God led us to a church service, that led us to a book, that prepared our hearts for this people group before ever realizing we hoped to work with them…we were pretty blown away.
Man, how will I ever keep up?!? So cool
P.s. During a skype call with a friend in India I was introduced to contacts in Thailand who are working with the Shan population / Burmese Refugees (again, crazy!). We have started a dialouge so I will keep you “posted”…
